I have somewhat recently hit a little stumbling block..I've just gone through a rough time tying to figure out how to juggle all the balls I have in the air work, work, marriage, workout, diet, did I mention work. It has been hard just to get it all figured out and I've let my workout and diet go a bit but sometimes for me there are more important things than my health...like my sanity...don't get me wrong my health is a huge part of my staying sane and is a huge part of the glue that holds me together but when big things come up with my job like a bunch of cabbage from insurance missing, or struggles with my marriage I sometimes have to let those things take priority because my husband and my job are worth holding on to. I guess I have been so busy juggling my balls I try to focus on all equally hoping none of them will drop but it is apparent I've slacked...and that's okay I just now have to stop slacking and get back on track...I say all this to get to the Sweetest Thing...a truth: when I slack I feel bad about myself and my self esteem plummets to zippo... when I don't workout I get down about myself cause I just simply don't feel good about myself. I don't know if this is a normal thing or not I think some of you out there I hope can relate. My husband Mike and I recently made a trip to Dallas for our anniversary our 3rd to be exact. We had gotten up in hotel room and were fixing to head out for an awesome evening of fun to watch the Texas RANGERS..Go RANGERS!!!! He suggested that I put on some jeans which I haven't done since April or so since here in Texas it is always a blazing 100 degrees or so all summer long. So here I was getting my jeans out because it was suppose to be cool that evening for the first time all summer. Leg 1 in... Leg 2 in... now up....umm not going over the booty so easily... then I realized holy trash I haven't gotten new jeans since I've put on my newly found 10 lbs since I've been doing all the juggling... that is when the ball and finally dropped and hit the floor... of course when this happened I went through what I would like to call the 7 stages of OH NO!
1. Denial: spray jeans with wrinkle re leaser in hopes they
would stretch enough to get on
2. Guilt: man I really shouldn't have ate all that crap
3. Anger: at my self for not being more controlled
4. Reflection: sitting in car on way to ball game feeling all my fat jiggle as we hit bumps of freeway(yuck)
5: Up turn/ SWEETEST THING: my husband telling me "I was so beautiful and there has been a lot going on, this weekend we are going to enjoy our selves so no negative talk, no I"m fat, not feeling sorry for yourself. Just a good time because that is what we came here to do enjoy each other. "
6:Working Through: Next morning getting ready to go shopping put on shorts and top as I was looking in the mirror my hubby saying, "man that is one hot lady...you look hot...and no part of your looks even the lease "fat""
7: Hope: This is when I got a real perspective that gaining 10 lbs does not make me fat really I need to chill out...and that come Monday it would just simply be time to pick that ball up off the ground dust it off and get my diet and health in a better place..
Looking back on this last weekend made me realize how sweet my husband had been and how appreciative I am of how real he is and how much he does care for me...and best of all he didn't just lie to me and say I was beautiful he really meant it...I'm so thankful for him...I also feel like this is something we do to ourselves we all do...we go through this process over and over again...I think its in important part or realizing what our needs are and the way we asses our life. I also feel that its important for me to tell you this so maybe someone gets that they aren't the only ones that deal with it. ITS REAL and IT'S LIFE...so stay calm and carry on,tweak what needs tweaking and realize you are BEAUTIFUL!!!
