THE SKINNY

Okay so this is the skinny on what is fueling me to write this blog... About a year ago on one very lonesome night I decided I had enough. I was depressed, sad, overweight, and felt I was missing just about everything in my life. In previous months to this moment I had gone through one of the roughest spots in my life. I had no job, miscarried my first potential kiddo, and somewhere along the way felt like I had lost my sense of self. Pity party aside it was pretty aweful but I was really ready to move to something better for me and not just say I was going to do something but actually get it together and do something. Here is the story to how all that happend. The blog within the blog
                                                                  THE STORY ON ME
For my entire life for as far back as I can remember I have been involved in sports...My Dad started me off playing baseball pretty much right out of the womb...lol...In the process of growing me and guiding me into the young woman I am he gave me a true passion for sports and showed me how to yeild that passion into success...Long story short I competed for many years in a huge variety of things(that kinda happens when your a small town gal like me). Which in turn gave me a passion to build my body, soul, and spirit into someone that was healthy and happy.


When I went to college I got the amazing opporutunity to compete in track and cross country for Wayland Baptist University where I met some of the most amazing people and really learned a lot about fitness and how to really live that life style and it is a life style. After 2 years of copmeteing I ended up breaking my leg and had to transfer to WTAMU where I competed in Cross Country. Then before I knew it my elegibility was up and ever since then have just been in a sink hole going no where but down (fitness wise). I was caught in this quick sand that I couldn't keep from sinking in. My fitness just kept going down hill and until recently haven't really started to pull my self out until I realized how much I was missing from my life by not having that lifestyle.

So here I am trying new things and sheding the old me. I am reinventing myself into the person that I want to be and hoping that I find who that is on this journey that I have set out on. I have one amazing friend that has been a huge insipration in my life and is really pushing me to be more and find more for myself, her name is Jenn. We ran track together at WBU, she was my roomate, best friend, confidant, you name she's it. And to top it all off she simply blows me away because of the amazing, dedicated person she is...Lately, she truley slaped me in the face with some big time motivation and realization. One day she called me up and just blurted it out that she wanted to do Body Building and I was like... wow....She told me how she always had wanted to do it and so she was going to get the ball rolling. Then the next thing I knew I was sitting at her competion in March watching her GET HER GROOVE ON in her first big show. She has always kept up with her body and as I was sitting there watching this person that is so near and dear to my heart walk across that stage putting ACTION to what she said she was going to do and I thought, "how amazing is that... How incredible she set her mind to and she made it happen".I also sat there thinking how far I had fallen away from my old self and for the first time in a long time missing it. Missing ME!

So I tried to get into shape again but I wasn't truly dedicating myself like I should have. I strung myself along a sting of yo-yo dieting, mismatched workouts, quick fixes and rollercoaster fitness knowing the whole time what a BIG MISTAKE it truly was!!! and as I sit here writing these words right now I am vowing NEVER to tred down that road again. However, going through all of those experiences were nessesary to find the right one. Thomas Edison once said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." and boy have I found those 10,000 ways. Through all those experiences I found a reality about who I am. That reality is this, that I need something with validity and substance, a "true goal" to keep my eye on and ironically my friend jenn is the one that introduced me to that goal. To get into the world of Body Building. I feel that doing something like this is a true test of fitness, dedication, and love not only of athleticism but love for yourself and your health.

I had been contempating what it was I actually wanted to do and honestly I was worried. I didn't know what I could do, or how I wanted to look. Then Jenn came to me and told me about the new NPC bikini division and I knew as soon as it left her lips that ,that was IT (at least a good starting place for me). So I'm diving and I'm putting into action the words that I've spoken. I've been working my booty off in the gym faithfully going everyday doing a workout of cardio and lifting. I have been "clean eating", I threw out all the crap in my house that could keep me from accomplishing my goal, needless to say my hubby is not very happy that there is no longer any junk to eat. He keeps saying things like," where is all the food", when there is a whole frige full of fruits and veggies. It's kinda funny when I think about it(he's such a man). On the clean eating subject I had a really bad experience with eating butter for the first time in a while and we'll just say it wasn't pleasant and don't think butter will be comming back into my diet any time soon.

I know that I'm just a baby starting out in this remarkable new world but I truly have developed an all or nothing attitude to making this happen. I really want this more than I have wanted anything my entire life for the exception of marrying the man of my dreams (which I have done...he's mine). Right now in this moment of my life I want this..and more than just wanting it... I need this with every portion of who I am! I have to make this happen for myself. I need to believe in myself again and feel and breath in and truly love something I am doing. I feel alive and new. Finally I've found something to rekindle my passions for health and fitness. And spark a new fire into at least what is for me the unknown that holds treasures for me to unlock and life for me to live. I'm depending on myself and God to get me through. I've been praying everyday that he gives me the strengh,and the will to make this desire of my heart a reality and have been remembering what was said in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

So I am making MY BODY a temple BABY...not only to glorify myself and give myself a new start but also to Glorify God in everything I do because I deserve it and more importantly GOD deserves it, making myself into an All NEW ME!!!